lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A bitchslap is in order.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize