His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
