girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
