I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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