I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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