Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
