I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
