i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So squirting runs in the family.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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