Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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