What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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