I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
