what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
