Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
