Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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