whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
