The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
