Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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