you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
