god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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