shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize