Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
