Nicole vs. Life
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
