i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
two words: eviction party
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
