So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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