My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
