I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
