I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
