no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
