I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We are two peas in an std pod
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
