He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
