belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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