if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
