she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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