The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
