My brain says no but my pants say off.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
