The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
