Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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