dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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