Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
