Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
