I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
