i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
