someone get that fucking seahorse.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
