I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
