Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
