Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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