So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We got so high we made milksteak
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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