So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
