Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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