Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Rumble strips road head = magical
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize