I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
