marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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