bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
