their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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