I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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