Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
