That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
