I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
