The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
