I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
