Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
