I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize