And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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