Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
