Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
