get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How's work?
Spinning.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
